tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
if only i could text you this smell
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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