There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
