She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
