I can tuck mytits in my pants
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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