what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
