i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
