I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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