It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
