yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
