Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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