kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
