My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize