I got chris browned last night
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
