If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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