We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Boobs are out for the taking
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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