My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
