With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
