chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
