Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Quick, to the slutcave!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
