Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
