Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I woke up under a house in Key West
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
