My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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