you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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