I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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