This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
