Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
