I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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