Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
