tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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