her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
