I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize