I want to have your abortion
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
