You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
