In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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