get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
