I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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