is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
