considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
