It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My vagina just clenched in fear
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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