Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
only if we run a train.
done.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
