Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
