Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
