i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
