I wish I could teleport
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
