She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
