Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
