like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
