why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
