my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
