So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
sex in a hospital.. check
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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