It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
