What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
