I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
