First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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