I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
