It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
