but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize