We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just found puke in my bra..
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We are all done wearing pants today
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