3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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