i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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