if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
