i don't like sucking hair
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
