Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
