No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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