so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize