At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize