Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
