Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
