hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
